While the ancestors of Jesse Sanders can be connected, those of Henry and Joseph Sanders (an internet source has the father as Charles Saunders who was in the same militia unit as the King family) cannot. A census of 1785 shows that by then Sarah King Sanders was already a widow. She actually owned quite a lot of property. She willed her estate to her three sons Benjamin, Henry and Joseph and to a daughter, Elizabeth Crawford.
Sarah King Sanders mentions land she devises as land she received from her father Henry King. There is actually a few sites devoted to this King family. Henry King (the father of Sarah King's) death is recorded in the will of his nephew Solomon King. Solomon King also wrote he was the grandson of William King and that his grandfather was Michael King and his grandmother's name (though not his grandmothers). Records for Michael King and his prodigy begin in Nansemond County, Virginia where he was brought over as a bonded servant by Edward King.
Estate records for Henry King are missing, but there are deeds to some of his children recorded in Chowan county, one of them is Sarah King Sanders. Henry King died in 1771. Sarah King Sanders died in 1803. Shortly after her son Benjamin died, he had no children. In 1807 Henry Sanders died and in 1808 Joseph Sanders died.
Thomas Barnes was the executor of the estates of most of this family,
which is why I believe that this is the most likely family for the
mother of John Sanders Barnes to have come from. Since Thomas Barnes was
the guardian of the minor children of both Henry and Joseph. We do know
that Joseph Sanders was married to Miriam Sanders, a daughter of Jesse
Sanders who died in 1809. They had only one child, a daughter Mary who
is named in the will of Jesse Sanders as Mary Cross (she had married
Elijah Cross did sue the estate of Mary "Polly" Sanders, the daughter of Henry in 1819. He wanted a share since the land of Sarah had been divided between the heirs of Joseph and Henry. However, he wouldn't have had a right to it (it was a decade later), and I am not sure at all why John wasn't mentioned. But since the only Mary related to Lawrence and Jesse is the daughter of Joseph (through her mother), and she's the wife of Elijah Cross, I really don't think there is another Mary to be the mother of John Sanders.
Estate records for Henry show that some if not all of his children were illegitimate. No marriage exists for him that I can find until the year of his death. His eldest daughter was married to Stoh Beazley alias Watson, her name was Abbie or Abigail. His son, William is listed as both Saunders and Beasley in records, and then there is Nancy and Mary "Polly" Saunders or Beazley. The guardian for these children, along with Mary the daughter of Joseph Saunders/Sanders was Thomas Barnes. Mary the daughter of Joseph Sanders was married to Elijah Cross by 1811, but Mary the daughter of Henry was still a minor at that time. Sarah Saunders land was bordered by Jethro Summers and Jesse Sanders. Jesse Sanders did have a daughter Mary but she was married to Samuel Sharlock by 1811. None of the grandchildren of Jesse except for the daughter of Miriam (and Joseph) was named Mary.
There are two marriage bonds for a Mary Saunders, one signed by Thomas Barnes in 1815 with Samuel Darden and another, undated but from 1817-1820 per transcribers, to James Barnes. Apparently though, the earlier marriage didn't occur. We do find Samuel Darden purchasing items at Thomas Barnes estate, but he is no where else in any records for the county or nearby counties that I can find. James Barnes, the son of Richard Barnes apparently moved to Nansemond county. It is possible he married our Mary, but by all accounts it appears she was dead by 1820.
The sales of the estates do show that both Sanders families interacted. Whether or not they are, and they probably were, related I cannot yet determine.
It is interesting to note that Charles King, the first cousin of Sarah King Sanders was married to a daughter of Thomas Barnes Sr. This family, and the family of Amelia "Millie" Parker interacted by the estate records and moved to Bertie County.